Pilot and Totoro

Pilot is still fighting. I'm (force) feeding him with a syringe every couple of hours and have to give him injections every twelve hours. It's like having a newborn all over again. Except that it's possible that he could die at any time. But he's fighting back when we feed him so that's a good sign. He's feeling well enough to be stubborn.

I'm currently crocheting a Totoro trio for one of B's coworkers. Here's the teeny white one (though this is one I made for the boys) and the blue one's ears.

Don't forget that you can enter my giveaway. The basic idea is that you donate to a great cause (I don't believe there's a minimum amount) and you get a chance to win some stuff from me. It would mean the world to me if you donated.

Linking up with Nicole's {crafting on}.

Extra Life Incentive/GIveaway

Okay, folks. Next weekend (November 2nd and 3rd) I'll be "gaming for the kids" (you know, like "walking for a cure"). Head to Extra Life to read more about it. All donations go to help the kids.

So here's the thing. I'm offering the choice of several prizes to one randomly selected person: $20 off in my etsy shop, handmade fingerless gloves (yarn selection based on what's in my stash), or a knitted/crochet toy (we'll discuss options if you chose this one). Anyone who donates through my Extra Life page is entered into this giveaway (they accept credit cards and paypal). If you join a team or start your own Extra Life page, send me the link and you'll also be entered. Giveaway entries are accepted through the event. Monday, November 4th (my time) I'll announce and contact a winner (so be sure to leave some way for me to contact you!).

This is an amazing way to show the world that gamers aren't antisocial, violent, losers who spend all of their time sitting in the dark. Whether you play tabletop games, iphone games, card games, dice games, pc games, or console games you can join a group of like minded people and make a difference.

Feel free to share these links and information wherever you see fit. It's all about helping the kids.

If we can make it work, I'll also be broadcasting at least part of my gaming spree on Twitch. A lot of people participating in this event are stretching the 25 hours of gaming to both the 2nd and 3rd rather than just the 2nd (plus an hour, obviously). With three kids of my own (and a sick cat in need of force feeding every two hours) I'll be stretching it as well - from the morning of the 2nd to 11:59pm on the 3rd.

Quick Pilot Update

An old picture.
I just picked him up from the vet. He's looking better and his blood sugar is acceptable with just a small dose of insulin in the morning. I'm to go back tomorrow for his dose and a lesson on how to do it myself. Sunday will be all up to me. I'm more than a little nervous. Through it all, the vet (who is amazing, for the record) kept telling me how he'd feel better about Pilot's situation if he'd just eat by himself, rather than being fed with a syringe.

We got him home and in the bedroom (where cats aren't usually allowed) and the Elf brought me a can of wet food (also not usual for our critters). Before I even got the can all the way open Pilot was interested. I won't say that he ate a lot. But he ate (which is more than he did with yesterday's can). And that gives me so much hope.

Who knew that nasty smelling cat food could be the highlight of my day?

Pilot

I adopted Pilot from the animal shelter more than five years ago. He was huge and terrified of everyone. He warmed to me first and has remained mostly my cat. He'll tolerate B and the Elf and generally runs from everyone else.

Recently he lost a lot of weight. He had a cold and is getting older. We kept an eye on him, but he seemed fine, if more friendly. Hindsight being what it is, this should have been my wake up call. Earlier this week he became extremely lethargic and stopped eating. Then came the exorcist-style vomiting. I took him to the vet the next morning.

He has diabetes. This isn't uncommon in older cats. But the words "far gone" and "might not make it" were used. Frequently. They started him on fluids and insulin but told me they couldn't say that he would recover. It's been three days now. We bring him home at night and love on him, only to drop him back off at the vet in the morning. His blood sugar levels are better. But he isn't improving the way the vet would like. He won't eat on him own and is being "force fed" with a syringe. Today I'm going to be sent home with some insulin and instructions on how to do all of this at home. Monday morning they'll check his blood sugar levels again and then "the talk" will happen.

Pilot is very obviously sick. He's weak and tired a lot. But he doesn't seem to be in pain or suffering - not in the "I give up" way that Maynard was before she died last year. I'm going to fight for this cat. I can't afford the $1000+ specialist, no. But I will baby this cat for as long as he will let me.

This has been my entire week. I haven't read or knit or spun. I've worried. I've roamed the house aimlessly. I've cried. I've washed mountains of laundry.I've gotten lots of hugs from my boys.

Right. I just needed to get this out there. My next post will be less doom and gloom. I'm planning a giveaway incentive to anyone would donates to Extra Life through my personal donation page.

Extra Life

Okay people. I've never voluntarily joined a fundraising thing. I'll contribute, sure. But ask people for money? No way. Enter Extra Life. The short version is that I'm trying to raise $100 for the Trion Worlds Team. This is the least they'll let you sign up for. They say, have four friends pledge $1 an hour and play for 25 hours. Play video games for 25 hours. Torture, right? Find four people to contribute? Well, that may be the tricky part. As a family, we will be donating the money we've collected in our "give" jar. The donations, 100% of the money, go to children's hospitals to help families who can't afford treatment for their kids. The story is on the website and they can tell it better than I can.

The event takes place two weekends from now. I'm going to play at least 25 hours of video games (primarily Rift - a Trion game) between 8am November 2nd and 11:59pm November 3rd. If you'd like to donate you can go here to help me and the great folks at Trion raise some money for a good cause.

Down.

I come here often. I open the "new post" option and stare at the blankness. I think about what I've done lately, sigh, and then close the tab without writing a single thing. I have no beautiful pictures to share with you. We haven't had any amazing family outings to beautiful locations. There have been no great revelations of any kind. We've just been living. Doing our thing.

But that isn't all. Let's be real. I'm depressed. It's a tidal pull of "meh, I just don't care" that comes and goes in my life. I'm not sad or weepy. I'm listless, irritable, restless, frustrated, and utterly without drive to do anything. Inspiration is a thing that feels foreign and unknowable. I realize that I should push myself to do. Mind over body, right? But it's my mind that is stuck in the mud pit right now.

I'm at the point in this cycle where my mood angers me. Where I throw my hands in the air and demand that someone tell me what to do in order to snap out of this funk. Do I have any idea how/when/why this usually ends? Of course not. Once it's over all I want to do is forget that it ever happened and move back to being active and here
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So yeah. I'm still around. Still taking care of my kids (though the homeschooling has maybe definitely suffered). Still baking and knitting and (very rarely, at this point) dealing with fiber. Still reading a slew of blogs each and every day - marveling about how much people get done without letting chemicals/hormones/brain wiring/whatever slow them down.

I'm here. I'm just not here.