Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Right Now - not a Yarn Along

Well. It's been more than a week and it's taken days of talking myself into it to just sit down and open a "New Post" screen.

Right Now:

- the Beast is better. We think it was Roseola (I keep wanting to say Roselia - can you tell that I have Pokemon addicts around here?). He had a fairly high fever for three or four days and then a rash for two days after. He seems to be back to his usual self (he even had a case of the giggles all yesterday).

- I'm still knitting the Playground Shirt. I don't think I care for the yarn. At least, that's my excuse for letting it collect dust as much as I am. I've started a new pair of longies (more likely, board shorts) in a lovely Noro. I'll probably put them in my Etsy shop because we could really use the money (sad, yes?).

- I feel scattered. Unfocused. Lost. Confused much of the time. I've always had very minor dislexia but recently I've had.. episodes where it's worse. Reading the credit card number to the pizza place over the phone was a nightmare two weeks ago. My mouth was saying numbers but my brain wasn't sure if I was reading it correctly. I forget things - not just forgetting.. it's.. hard to explain. I feel like I'm going crazy. B tells me that it's likely just exhaustion, that it will pass if I find a way to get more sleep. I have my doubts.

- all three boys are sitting happily at the table playing. Star Wars toys are tap dancing and they (the boys, not the toys) are coloring with soy crayon rocks - though the Beast really wants to eat the crayons.

- there are half a dozen cardinals on our tree right outside. Not one of them will go near my tea cup feeder. It's been out for days. Even the titmice and chickadees ignore it. Maybe they can't perch on it? Maybe it's too exposed? Bah.

- I'm trying, I really am. I'm not sure that anyone sees it. Sure, the laundry is piled up and I'm way behind on dishes. The bills are a little late. Emails are rarely written (because really, who wants my response a month late?) and posts rarely made. Dinners have been sad - French toast last night? Not my best moment there. But I'm trying. I will climb out of this emotional hole that I've dug for myself.


  1. Oh I hope you feel like yourself soon! Sounds like you need some "me" time.

  2. french toast for dinner in my house means happy kids and full bellies! go easy on yourself :)

  3. Oh, mama, many hugs to you! I do not have dyslexia but I can sooo relate to the emotional hole. It seems like life, in general, is not on my side lately, and that can be very wearing on the spirit. Like Amanda said, take it easy on yourself. Take some time for your self. This too shall pass... at least, that's what I keep telling myself. ;-)

  4. I am really with Julie on this one. I don't have dyslexia either but I have just climbed out of my emotional hole and could fall back in at any time. Take it so easy and forget the laundry!

  5. All the mamas reading this are hugging you. I don't know you but my eyes are tearing up in recognition. I'm starting to learn that when I get forgetful, listless, confused...I need to STOP all the pressures I put on myself. I serve toast and scrambled egss or cereal for dinner with a smile (of forgiveness for myself), try to go to bed early, and just...let up on myself. Sounds like you need a break. You are important enough to just let everything else with your kids, rest, eat simply. I've been where you are more times than I can count. Take care.

  6. What you described is something all of us SAHM's go through. Hang in there!

  7. And what the working-away-all-darn-week mom's go through too. My housework is ALWAYS last on the list. The laundry is quite comfortable living in mountains. And I laugh at the memory of how excited I was when we got our new sink with an integrated dishboard - as if the dishboard is *ever* visible for all of the dishes on it. And you know what? It's okay. It's okay.


  8. Dearest Melissa -- All of the above... yes, yes, yes... Sending hugs...

  9. I can also very much relate to the way you are feeling right now, I've been there too- pancakes for dinner more than once in a week. . .
    Be easy on yourself- I think us mamas are often expected to be perfect- we're people too who get tired and scattered.
    And french toast for dinner sounds lovely! <3

  10. 80 had very similar symptoms! She had a 102+ temp for two days, then a rash on her face and neck for a while. The doc said it was probably a virus, and that's all I considered. She probably had Pokemon disease as well.

    As OK Go says, "this too shall pass". Go watch the video to cheer yourself up if you need to!