Work In Progress

This is what has been consuming my time.



Which will eventually be this. Except that I'll mess up the face/eyes. Because I *always* do.

Okay. That and an amigurumi Sailor Moon doll I've been working on (that hair. evil, i tell you. eeeeeeevil). And reading. And playing ArcheAge. And watching anime. And teaching the Imp the alphabet. And trying to get rid of a flea infestation. Ugh.

Yes. So that is me right now.

Book Haul

I've been watching a lot of Booktube (that's book related channels on Youtube) lately. People post videos of their monthly "book hauls" - the books they buy for that month. Well, I don't buy many books and you'll likely never catch me filming a video of myself. But I do love books. Every weekend the Elf and I try to get to the library. Here's this week's haul! (yes, they're predominantly YA)

Return to Labyrinth volume 2 by Jake Forbes
Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare
The Diviners by Libba Bray
Everneath by Brodi Ashton
The Poison Eaters and Other Stories by Holly Black
Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor

In addition B bought me:

Ceres volume 4 by Yuu Watase
The Fox by Sherwood Smith

Will I read all of these in a week? Uhm. Probably not. The Fox is a read-a-long for May so I don't even need to worry about that one. Though.. I really want to know what happens in the story and I've never been great at self restraint when it comes to books!

Found my Mojo

These are the most enjoyable to knit socks I've ever tried. Well... except for the heels. I have zero desire to ever knit an afterthought heel ever again. All the same. These are great fun. And they look hilarious when not on a foot. Great. Fun.





I'm knitting these from Phat Fiber samples I've gotten in the past. Details are here.

The House of Sand and Secrets by Cat Hellisen

My first reaction upon finishing this book last night: *inarticulate fangirl noises*

Okay. So. This book is the sequel to When the Sea is Rising Red. It follows Felicita and Jannick on their move to MallenIve and... there's very little else I can say that won't spoil things. There are societal complications. Marital complications. Things ensue.

This story was an emotional roller coaster. I was frustrated (not with the book, and not with the characters.. but *with* the characters.. as in, empathy. I felt their frustrations). I teared up. Smiled uncontrollably.

[I'm not writing this well. I've woken up in a bad mood. Kids are being loud. A toothless, old cat keeps stalking back and forth between me and my keyboard. My computer is acting possessed by demons. People are changing silly in-game agreements with me at the very last minute. And it's only 9:30am. It's just been a day already. Someone make me another cup of coffee?]

Sand and Secrets is an amazing book. It's beautifully written. The characters are alive, real, and very much get under your skin and into your head. The imagery is.. breathtaking. Jannick's house in his head... I don't have the words. Amazing. Perfect. Mind blowing. None of those do this book justice.

The last book/series I gushed about like this was The Glass Books of the Dreameaters by Gordon Dahlquist (somehow I haven't read the third book in that series. wtf?!). And I stand by both that series and this one: top favorites. Ever. Of all time. Forever.

My only complaint with anything regarding this world: I can't find a copy of Dogleaf! Goodreads tells me there's a short story (ebook) that follows Felicita and Jannick after this book. I want it, precious! But it seems to not exist outside of that one goodreads page. This makes me sad. And frustrated. I want all the Hobverse books. All. Of. Them. Now, please.

There's a snippet of another book at the end of Sand and Secrets. It has elements in it that spark my dream-memory of the long ago beta read. It made me squeal with happiness inside.

Go read this series. No excuses.

What?!

Okay. I think I knew this at one point but... Megan Lindholm - author of the Windsinger series (in which reside one of my favorite pairs ever - Ki and Vandien) - is Robin Hobb. What?!

I'm attempting to use goodreads and.. I'm not sure it's going well. Is this site as user unfriendly as I think it is? Was I spoiled by librarything? Or maybe by that month I spent entering all my books (now sadly, outdated) with my cuecat?

In any case. I'm working on it. This is me on goodreads.

When the Sea is Rising Red by Cat Hellisen

Okay. Preface. I read this story when it was a different story. Back in the days of LiveJournal Cat let me beta read this story. It had a different title, different characters, but was lovely and engrossing. I've wanted to read her published works since she first let on that she was in print. I was so very excited for her - Cat is an amazing person.

So fast forward to a week or two ago. She has a new book out (Beastkeeper - go read it, too!). I smack my forehead: how have I still not bought her books and read them?! Okay, well, because I don't buy hardcover books or ebooks of things that I know I'm going to love. This means I can't buy her new book yet. Sadness. But! Her previous two books! I have no excuse now! B bought them for me the very day that this crisis happened in my head (yes, I have issues).

I dove into When the Sea is Rising Red with gusto. I was familiar with the world, of course. But.. it was.. like reading a dream you know you've had before. It's amazing and compelling. And different. It's not the story I remember. Like that dream - it's familiar, like a skin I shed but knew so well. When I try to remember a dream in a linear way, it slips around and refuses to be caught. Reading this book was like that. It was so exciting - just because I knew but didn't. Does that make sense?

I will say this right now - read this book. It has earned a solid position among my top favorite books. Ever. Of all time. Forever. Felicita, Dash, Jannick, Whelk Street, Ilven. The world is so solid, so well depicted. I could smell the sea air, feel the grime of the streets, taste the terror of hiding from the sharif (spelled this way in the book - not a typo), small the scriv, feel the sticky 'ink residue. I read this book in a day and a half. I tried to hold out. To savor it. But I couldn't.. I *had* to read it Right Now Or The World Will End. It was that good.

Time for some honesty. I was scared to crack open the second book: The House of Sand and Secrets. It wasn't in my half-remembered dream. The blurb about it.. doesn't sound so compelling (do blurbs ever?). What if I don't like it? How do I reconcile that with knowing that I've loved everything I've ever read by Cat? (There's a book she wrote that I beta'd. I can't remember the name of it. But Caleb. And fairy tales. And black feathers? Rain. And smoke and a squat/house. A cowboy hat? A trail in the woods? I miss that story, even though I can't hold on to the slippery dream selkie that it has become.)

So I put it off all day. I knit a sock for the littles (they fought over it - silly boys). While putting the littles to bed that night, I started House of Sand and Secrets. And you know what? It completely sucked me in. I'm in love all over again (I've already been close to tears and squealed in delight). I've less than half the book left and I'm torn (as always): devour it hungrily? Or savor it? It's so good and I Need To Know What Happens Next! So I'm doing both. I'm letting the story stew in my mind while I write this not-review and knit a second sock. And in stolen snatches I will devour pages like they are part of a hidden, secret dark chocolate stash.

tl;dr: Cat Hellisen is an amazing author. Go read her books. If you don't, you're missing out on some of the best books you'll ever read. Ever. Seriously. Go. Now. Read. Thank me later. 

Creeper

Finished the creeper for the Elf yesterday. More fiddling with plastic canvas than I'd like, but the boys love it. Learned (properly, finally) how to crochet in joined rounds. Couldn't get the seam invisible and there's still a slight diagonal to the work (you can really tell in the second pictures) but it's an improvement all the same.








Used this pattern and some random sock yarn held double. Ravelery notes here.

Recap

Okay. So I had a birthday. It was great. Here's the card the Elf made for me:








Very shortly after my birthday - possibly the day after, even. I can't recall. Anyway.. I woke up dizzy. Really, really dizzy. I thought it was a weird vertigo thing. Turns out I was freakishly iron/b-12 deficient. I've been taking supplements since and things have been better.

Here's what I've been up to:

Blending, spinning, plying yarn for a friend.


Knitting a hoodie for the Imp, a sock (sorry it took two years (literally!) to make the second one!) for B, and crocheting a creeper for the Elf as well as new dishrags. Not pictured, I knit new fingerless (with fingers, but no tips) gloves for B.


Books! B bought me two books by the lovely Cat! She just had another book come out but it's only available in hardcover, so I must be patient.


I have plans to knit socks for a friend, the two youngest boys, maybe myself (also thinking of fingerless gloves for myself). I hardly ever make things for me.. but.. maybe it's time.

I've been reading. A lot. Oh, how I missed reading. Once upon a time my blog was called Book Eater. Because.. that's what I do. I devour books. Chomp! I've read the entire Morganville series, the His Dark Materials series, The Mysterious Benedict Society, City of Ember. Everything after Morganville is to check books that I'd intended the Elf to read this year. Since then I've started reading Piers Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality series. I'm on the second now and am remember how much I really didn't like it. Ugh, Chronos, you are dull.

Lots of my free time has been spent browsing BookTube (the book-centric side of YouTube) and it's made me want to start reviewing books again. We'll see if I actually follow through with that. Either way, it's been so nice watching videos and commenting. Much more community-esque than my experience with LibraryThing.

Venting - Please Ignore.

Tomorrow is my birthday and my kids are trying my patience in all the ways they can imagine. Can I just have a day? Twenty-four hours? Some short amount of time where my kids treat me and each other with respect? Where the fighting is kept to a minimum? With no tantrums or screaming? No groans about school work or ughs about not getting to watch cartoons whenever they want? Would that be so much to ask?

Yes. It would be. It is.

I know all the "hold on to this time you'll miss it when they're older" nonsense. Maybe I will. If I survive the now. I don't miss diapers or crying babies or breastfeeding or being pregnant or giving birth or teaching kids to use the toilet. Am I really going to miss them all being at each other's throats over incredibly stupid things? Nope. I don't think so.

Still. I understand the sentiment. I just can't be bothered to care right now, in the midst of the chaos.
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I'm feeling less ill these days. I still have a cough and ache everywhere but I don't feel like the flu is trying to kill me anymore. I spent the morning getting the last month's worth of "school logs" (which are laughable at best) in order. First I was discouraged about what we're covering, what we need to cover, how I can't possibly teach them anything. Then I googled and thought and planned and felt mildly better - maybe even hopeful. Then I couldn't get the eldest to tell me what an adjective was. Or even to read aloud the line of poetry instructions that were relevant to the issue involving adjectives. Table hitting ensued (his), followed by time out (his), and a lecture (mine) - all to no avail, I assure you. But now.. not feeling so hopeful. Feeling more like "why the hell am I even bothering? I've fought him for the last seven years, shouldn't I just give up already and send his butt to school so I'll at least have peace?!"

Sigh.

Yep. This is why I don't post to my blog. It ends up being a whine-fest. Maybe venting will help. I don't know. I don't have any.. real life... friends, I guess you'd say. No one in town, no one I've met in person, really. There are people scattered across the globe that I met through blogs. But.. I'm not going to unload on them (which I'm probably sort of doing here, but not directly, dammit!). I rant to B when he's home (and in IMs while he's at work). Nothing helps. I'll keep flip flopping between hopeful and dejected. Is it me? Is it my relationship with my kids? Should we just not be homeschooling? Was I doomed from the start? My sister's answer would be to send them to school and get therapy. B's advice is to take it one step at a time. Rob's advice would be to make sure I take care of me. My coping mechanism is to let them all play video games and watch cartoons while I hide in a book or a game. Not ideal.

Right. Time to make lunch for kids and clean up the pile of books the eldest just knocked over. Because... that's my job right?

I miss having a community.

It appears that, hermit though I may be, I miss interacting with people. Shocker, right?

I'm not going to try and recap whatever I may have done since my last failed attempt at getting back into blogging. Instead I'm just going to talk about what is going on Right Now.

Right Now:
- I have the flu.
- My kids are loud and crazy.
- I am knitting fingerless gloves for B.
- I should be plying yarn for a friend I haven't managed to speak to in a long while.
- There are two baskets of laundry overflowing in the bedroom.
- I have nothing to read.


So, I'm sick. The kids are, too, a bit. They cough, but I feel like a train wreck. They have energy, I just want to go back to bed. That's life.

For a long while B's gloves were missing. It got cold, he asked for new ones. I bought some beautiful yarn and got to work. I'm working on the second glove and I can honestly tell you that I despise 1x1 ribbing.

Last year the Geek and Sundry Morganville Vampires mini series inspired me to read the books. I finished the last one yesterday and now I feel a little bereft. I'm sure that I have things to read, I just don't know what I'm in the mood for. The series was 15 books long and my brain is maybe still a little stuck in that world.

I'm still obsessively playing ArcheAge. Even when the game infuriates me I can't seem to stay away. That said, I'm finding less and less to do when B isn't around to play as well. I suppose that was bound to happen eventually.

In six days, I will officially be one year older. I feel like I've aged ten years in the last few months. This depression-or-whatever isn't fun stuff and I'm heartily tired of it. I hope that the eventual warmer weather clears my brain and brings back some of my energy.

Last reminder

Just thought I'd throw this out there again. This morning is the official start of Extra Life. It's like the classic walking for a cause, only we're gaming for a cause. It's amazing how the community of gamers has come together in the past to raise money for children's hospitals and I'm honored to be a (very tiny) part of it.

I'm battling computer issues (Archeage, in particular doesn't seem to be functional for me and we can't figure out why) but I intend to game through the day regardless. I'll be playing Trove and maybe Rift (if they've fixed Faeblight) with some Knights of Pen and Paper thrown in. It's also not out of the question that the kids and I will play some Wildcraft. If you're inclined to donate, you can do so at the main page or on my donation page. I'll stream if I can get things working on my computer, but I make no promises at this point.

It's all for the kids. And they're worth it. (even if my own got me out of bed much earlier than I'd like)

Thinking

(Old pictures that have nothing to do with this post.. except for when they do.)



It's occurred to me that I may be having a not-mid-life crisis. I feel directionless and adrift. All those existential questions that I don't have answers for plague me. What is my purpose? If there were some moment at the end of one's life where they could look back over the whole of their existence.. what would I see? What do I want to see?

I don't even know.



The dreams that I've had for years.. are they really just dreams? What if I'm "not cut out" for them? What if they really wouldn't make me happy? What does that say about me? About my future? About direction?



I'm talking with a good friend of mine (typing. But still.) and it's.. eye opening. And daunting. I know that I'm negative and pessimistic. I make excuses and avoid things that are too hard. I'm short tempered and have been known to hold a grudge. I can recall, with accuracy, insignificant-but-definitely-negative things that happened more than twenty years ago. I am not patient. I'm not proud of any of those things.



So how do I change those things? Obviously I can't just change them all at once. And certainly not over night. It'll be hard work (which is a problem due to my habitual avoidance of hard work). But where do I start? My friend suggests that I think about how I want to feel and how to accomplish that. Sounds easy enough, right? But it's not. Still.. I guess that life - living - is.. sort of a work is progress.



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Completely unrelated: there's still time to donate to the Children's Miracle Network through Extra Life.

Yarn Along, Extra Life, Here Again

I really had planned on posting at least once a week. Honestly. Let's see if I do any better this time?

School has officially started for the Elf and Imp. The Beast has, thus far, declined all invitations to join us. I think he enjoys having time to himself with no competition for toys.

It's October again. And that means that it's time for Extra Life. I'd be honored if anyone wanted to donate. Last year it was just a friend and myself. I'm not very social and therefore find it difficult to spread the word. At any rate, on October 25th (and the 26th) I pledge to play at least 24 hours of games (video, card, tabletop, what-have-you). Provided I can manage to reconfigure the software I will likely stream the video games on my Twitch channel. Likely I'll play Archeage (it's my escape of choice these days). Maybe a little Knights of Pen and Paper, Cthulhu Saves the World, or maybe even the Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade game from the early 90's. Oh! And Gold Rush (a recent Steam/Humble Bundle purchase - my sister and I played it when we were young).

So yes. Donate money to help save kids. It's the right thing to do.

And now, the Yarn Along (a day late).

In the past few days I've picked up knitting from a year ago and also dusted off (okay, I left the dust on) my spinning wheel for the first time in about a year. Yeah. I haven't done anything fiber related in a long time. I'm back to working on Flaming June. I'm knitting it entirely from Phat Fiber spinning samples. It's very colorful. As far as reading, I've been rereading the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. Because. Yeah. Outlander. I'm on Drums of Autumn and love it just as much as I did the first time I read it.

Here

Breaking my long internet silence (anyone still out there?), looking for advice. I'm trying to come up with a reading list for a soon-to-be twelve year old. The internet is a wide and varied place and I'm having a hard time reconciling things like Twilight being on many of the lists I'm finding.

The life update: Everyone is fine. We're all still here and kicking. This fall I'm going to start officially homeschooling the Imp and Beast. Add to that the Elf's preteen hormonal.. baggage. Life has been... busy.

I'm here, I read blogs, I escape into video games to retain sanity. Not a great deal of crafting has been happening and I've been terrible about keeping in touch with people. I'm afraid that's just going to be the nature of things until I find some footing in the rocky adventure of parenting.

Knitting again.

I've been knitting this headwrap for a dear friend's birthday. I was worried that it was going to be delivered late (due to my starting it late) but now I'm positive. I have to rip the whole thing out and start again. It's too big. I'm knitting the smallest size on needles several sizes smaller than recommended and it's still too big. Ugh. I think I remember now why I stopped knitting for so long.

Crazy weather

Ice, sleet, and snow have been forecast for tonight and tomorrow. No big deal, right? This is a common winter thing, yes? Not in North Florida. I was wearing a tank top comfortably yesterday. Now there is (literally) freezing cold rain outside. FSU is closed until at least noon. It feels like the entire world has been turned upside down.

We snagged two less-feral-than-they-used-to-be kittens from outside and stuck them in the back room for the night. None of us could bear the idea of them being out in this weather.

Tonight is a night for wool socks and feather blankets.

Birthday fun

I'll post later about the amazing gifts a dear friend sent. For now I'll say that I have been treated quite well already today. Breakfast from Panera, gifts from a friend, birthday wishes from around the world.

And now.. I'll be spending the majority of my day doing this. Because I can.

Fuzzballs

Something happened to my back and I've been in excruciating pain for many days now. It's insane and nothing helps. Supporting my lower back with a pillow when I sit in chairs eases the pain a little. Because of that, B bought me a (rather expensive in my opinion) new chair for my birthday. When I'm using the computer I usually sit in a wooden kitchen chair, this one is a definite improvement.

I meant to post at least once a week but pain has a way of derailing plans. Better late than never, right? For better or worse, I mostly took pictures of some of our cats.


Three boys plus perler beads equals total happiness (or fighting over colors. It's a toss up).


My new chair, complete with Beast.


Eddy. His thirteenth birthday was on the 17th - ten days before mine. He's the only cat we have with a known birthday.


Erasmus James Flattery. Better known as Ras. This picture sums up how weird she is. Perching on small electronics? Totally normal.. right?


Pilot looking like a bobble head. The box my chair came in is wildly popular among all the critters.



Ramses. My old man. He's cross eyed, nearly toothless, and the sweetest cat I've ever known.


Faustus (though we just call him Faust) with a side of Pilot, Surreal, and Calcifer.


Ishtar. Neurotic and beautiful. Because cats are all weird in their own ways.

That's it. Beyond moaning in pain I've been reading books, carding fiber, and milking this "it's almost my birthday" thing for all it's worth (this mostly amounts to having extra coffee). Happy Friday!

Life lately.

It's been a while. Every time I reach for the camera or sit at the computer I feel this dread. There's nothing worth blogging about. I'm not homesteading, raising seven kids, writing a book, going on tour, taking my kids on interesting trips, changing the world. I'm at home, doing the things I always do. Who wants to read (or write) about that?

But today I was thinking.. that's who I am. I don't have to be the homesteader, the renowned artist, the whatever. I can be me. Wool obsessed, Rift addicted, coffee loving me. And with that, I'm going to try to get back in the swing of blogging. Even if it's just pictures here and there.

Here's a snippet of what we've been up to.


The Elf has been crafting with polymer clay again. He makes these amazing figures. Today's was a hellbug from Defiance/Rift. I think it looks really cool.


Wool and silk on the drying rack for Magic Missile rolags. February's Phat Fiber box is themed Geekery and that makes me very happy (I'm also making Eridium rolags).


This is Goblin. I expect she'll have a new name soon as she's off to her new home tonight. She's the once-feral kitten we've had in the back room for months. Not sure if her siblings (both still frequent our yard) are next on the list for rehabilitation. We can't "save" them all, unfortunately.


Pilot. My million dollar cat (not really, but he's working on it). His glucose levels are lower but not low enough. Or they weren't last Wednesday. He'll go back in another week and a half to check again. We're giving him six times the original dose of insulin that we thought would work. But he's gaining weight and acting really healthy.


I bought a few bags of wool. They've multiplied overnight (okay, it just looks that way). I really need to find a way to store this all. I see much dyeing in my future.


This was an early birthday gift to myself. I ordered a custom phone skin from DecalGirl. It's a screenshot of mine and B's characters from Rift (okay, two of the.. much higher number of characters). Yes. I'm that kind of dork. This sticker makes me insanely happy. Don't judge.

The Imp is well. His cast has been off for a long time and he can bend his fingers and is working on his "karate chop" exercises to stretch out the muscles in his arm. He doesn't have any pain and is improving every day. So yes. Life is good.

Still here

I've been remiss. These pictures are from.. almost a month ago, I guess. That can't be right. The fiber is from a month ago, at least. Things are crazy and that's normal.

Pilot still isn't "better" yet. We've doubled his insulin dosage now and are rechecking him Friday. The worry is that his glucose will drop too low and then there's the possibility of coma, neurological damage, and/or death. So fun times there.

The Imp is still in a cast (purple - his choice). It may very well come off tomorrow (and the pins out, but I don't like to think about that). I say "may" because I suspect it hinges on the xray and how things look. He still can't flex his index finger or thumb and I find that very worrying.

Look. Pictures.

So why am I so absent? Well, to be honest I have an addiction to a mmorpg and I'd really rather spend all of my free time there than editing pictures or writing about the pitfalls of preteen boys and homeschooling or cranky little kids who want to run around and be crazy but can't due to a purple cast.

I've gotten several concerned friends (thank you, guys) who want to know if I'm okay. There's crazy stress and cranky boys and money troubles. But there are also smiles and cuddles and laughter. I'm happy. Through it all, I'm okay and I'm happy. So thank you for your concern and I will endeavor to update here more often.